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I’ve had kik for more than 12 hours and I haven’t gotten a siNGLE BOOB. THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. WHAT IS THE INTERNET FOR NOWADAYS IF YOU CAN’T FIND A BOOB IN THE WILD. GOOD BYE WORLD
the amount of people who sent me pictures of drake and josh is insane
so i was just taking a shower and a guitar pick fell out of my hair
i don’t play guitar
maybe it was god telling you you rock
no no, he picked you
And c’mon, like I get sick of talking about my Superman. Psh… never!
OH OH OH! I got this! Nobody has really heard it from my end… sooo..
The better part of 3 years ago, a friend of mine, a Fight Master in the SAFD by the name of Scot Mann, invited me to come speak about being a young, successful actor in Atlanta to his students at Mercer University where he is the head of the drama department… Naturally, being 23 or 24, always fond of having my ego stroked, and in a particularly self-important mood, I was SO down. later that month, off I trekked to Macon, GA to be all professorial… WELL, I get to Scot’s house, and we talk, we laugh, we eat, we eventually come to the subject of Renaissance Festivals, and how I’m making extra money actin, by doing that, and he tells me there’s a girl in one of his classes that does that… I’m like cool, we have a drink, I forget, we go to sleep.
NEXT MORNING! Combat Class, I’m in my usual cut-off tee, and gym shorts, we start the Q&A, people ask questions, I answer.. that’s how that goes.. no big. questions are winding down, Scot asks about Ren Faire again, and, before I can answer, he says, in the most stereotypical, “I’m throwing you under the bus” voice any human could ever muster, “Sarah does Ren Fests! Sarah, raise your hand, you two should talk!” This fit, stunning, young thing raises her hand, and I swear to god, my jaw dropped, and I stumbled on my words for a sec before I tried to play it off as being surprised that anyone did ren fest other than me… we talked for a second, I was stoked, and then I reminded myself that I’d most likely never see this girl again, that I lived in Atlanta, and she was way, way hotter than me. Class ended, I left. Case Closed.
A HANDFUL OF MONTHS LATER! I’m walking through the gates of the Georgia Renaissance Festival, all pirated out… being my usual stupid self… I grab a drink, head to the pirate ship to chill with my people, and there’s this girl, supposedly with a friend.. I don’t remember the friend… I saw her, whatev… anyway, THIS GIRL… she’s decked out, stunning, long, beautiful brown hair, amazing eyes, and just… HNNNGG… Holy-Crap-Gimme levels of gorgeous… so what do I do? I hit on her in character, because God knows I can’t talk to her as myself, and I promptly walk right the fuck away, because no WAY a girl that attractive likes me. Nah ah. Nope. I had just gone on the first few dates with a new girl, PASS IT OFF AS HONOR. WALK AWAY. You had your glory moment of saying words to her, WALK AWAY BRO. WALK AWAY. So I did. FIN.
NOPE. Later that night, I’m chilling with friends at one of Georgia’s attempts at a Mexican Restaurant, and there’s this girl in a blue tank, shorts, and all of the hotness at our table… Let me just say… I should get an award for this night. This girl, over the course of conversation realizes I’m the guy who taught her class, I realize she’s the girl.. the Girl… and we laugh, she gives me a shoulder rub, because actors… we talk more, SHE OFFERS ME HER NUMBER…And LET THE RECORD FUCKING SHOW that I refused, BECAUSE I WAS SEEING SOMEONE… (worst. decision. evar.) and we parted ways. I consoled myself with the thought that I’d never see her again, especially not now, girls don’t talk to me twice… ESPECIALLY if I don’t take their number.
MONTHS LATER. I’m riding up to The Carolina Renaissance Festival for Dress Rehearsal Weekend, when one of the dudes I’m riding with starts going on about this girl… She’s sweet, witty, beautiful, charming, christian, half his age… all his pre-reqs… so I finally ask to see a photo of his unsuspecting love interest that is no doubt unrequited, he agrees, photo… and my face looked something like this:
So, naturally, I did the only thing any man thrice met with fate would do: Nothing.
I rode up to Carolina, re-met her, re-established how fucking amazing this girl was, how perfect she looked, how much I was jealous of every dude around her, sucked it up, and ignored that shit because I was sure there was nothing there, and because relationship. We did good too, we were absolutely convinced there would never be anything there, so there wasn’t. We stuck it out for nigh on two years of platonic friendship, like good little soldiers…
a few weeks before the end of that second season something happened… I gave her a hug… and she stood to the side of me… my arm was still around her, and out of my mouth slipped a thought that erupted without asking me or my filter, “you… fit… perfectly” and I shut right fuck up, evaluated what I had just said, promptly tried to cover the shit out of my words, play them off as something innocuous, and called it a night. That was when I knew things were not stopping, that I had not at all succeeded at quelling that crush, and I had to try harder, because this girl was not interested. Sarah was not with anyone, mind you, but she was going through a rough time, she wasn’t looking for anything, and I was her friend first… my fucked up head was the last thing she needed on her plate, and more drama was the last thing I needed. so for a while I imagine I was like this around her:
Then, just over a week later, single happened at CRF for the first time in holy-crap-ever, and it was my birthday, and once the partying was over, we were sitting shooting the shit at the place we were staying, and as we got up to say goodnight, and go our respective ways to bed, we hugged… and there was this pull… this undeniable force… this moment of absolute clarity, like you had been sitting alone in the dark for centuries wondering what light looked like, and suddenly a hand grasped you, as the other flipped the switch, and you realized that you had never been alone, and the key to the beautiful nature of sight had been next to you all along… And she kissed me… and I kissed her back… and in that moment the Earth became a flame, and we were the oxygen that fed it… It the single greatest moment, the most perfect kiss, and It was terrifying, and wonderful, and I realized that it was the only one I had ever wanted… so I got all awkward and giddy and walked upstairs and went to bed. This is what my brain looked like:
Well… then this happened:
Then This happened:
Then This happened:
This was last weekend:
So… Yeah… That’s us…
I love her… She loves me… and well… I think that’s how it’s supposed to be… cause yeah… She’s it. I think I’m done. And that is a really amazing feeling. :)
What ya think, durnesque-esque? You agree, babe?
BRING ME SCHRÖDINGER’S HEAD
Client: I threw out that black pen, it was out of ink.
Me: What black pen?
Client: The one that was lying on your tablet.
Me: You threw out my $150 Wacom pen?
Client: I tried writing with it and it didn’t work. It must’ve been out of ink.
this almost made me cry
this is simultaenously the best and worst submission i’ve ever seen from Clients from Hell.
I feel ill
Some of the ways our organs communicate with each other… This is scientifically correct.
I MAKED THESE
Fun fact: my mum had her gall bladder removed a month ago. When I found that comic I emailed it to her. It made her laugh, it made her consultant laugh, and she put it at the front of her medical folder for her hospital stay.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt sadder for a gall bladder in all my life.
IT’S 2AM AND I’M PRACTICALLY CRYING BECAUSE OF “I MAKED THESE”